THE THREE Fs

Fight, flee, freeze. 

These are the known human evolutionary reactions to an enemy, a threat like a sabertooth cat wanting to eat us.

Although most of us no longer live in the savannah grasslands, we still experience these reactions to perceived threats, every day, but we don’t use them against the enemy, we use them against ourselves and the ones we love. 

Sometimes when we feel aggressive or negative energy from our lover, we  respond with one of the three Fs.

I’m leaving!  I yell to my partner as I slam the door and walk to my car headed for the bar.

But here’s the thing: 

With a lack of a real threat in some people’s lives, they also use the four Fs against themselves, as if they were their own enemy.

People fight with themselves (I’m worthless!), or they flee what they believe is reality through whatever addiction takes them away, or they freeze their abilities and live a numb of life, one of ennui, which Kabbalah suggests is the greatest sin.

(When I use the word sin I mean it in the Hebrew חטאה sense, a missing out. 

To sin is to miss an opportunity. 

To ignore the gifts of life is a sin, because you are missing out on a fundamental opportunity.

If we understand that when we feel threatened, we WILL feel one of the four Fs, if we know that it’s a reaction of our homo sapiens species, then we can be more active in choosing the best F for a given situation, and not slowly destroy the ones we love. 

For example, if I get in a fight with my lover, that is, my wife, and my instinct is either to do one of these three F’s, I can understand the physiological origins of that feeling and not put it into thoughts that I end up believing.

And I can choose instead one of the other two F’s of evolutionary survival, Feed or Fuck.

Well, maybe not.

But I guess it could make sense.

We get in a fight, instead of using one of the three F’s we grab a bite to eat or we make love.

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